2008 Woodie Awards
Attraction more complicated than it looks
Sex and the SUNY
Nick Kelley
Issue date: 11/27/08 Section: FUSE
Originally published: 11/27/08 at 1:38 PM EST
Last update: 11/27/08 at 1:37 PM EST
Attraction: it's more complicated than it looks.
While those hips, that smile, that butt and that swagger are four of the infinite number of factors that propel us toward someone, they make up a fractional portion of what drives us, either recklessly or kicking and screaming, at someone else.
Two researchers published a book a while back on what makes attraction. Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Walster claim, in "Interpersonal Attraction," that attraction is "the positive or negative readiness to respond" to someone.
This means that, though we often think of attraction as an impulse toward someone, it can work in the opposite direction just as easily. This makes for spicy situations, illustrating that even repulsion can spur someone to passion. This passion could easily end up with the two of you in bed together.
How this plays out in our world is as unique as the relationships we find ourselves in.
While I was away, there was this guy named Julio. Julio was the biggest jerk I had ever met. He was convinced that Galileo was wrong and the solar system worked on a Juliocentric model.
I hated him, which naturally meant that I made it my business to sleep with him. My mentor shared with me a piece of advice: "The biggest a**hole in the room is the one we want."
I hate being wrong, and I hated that she was correct. Undeniably, though I was attracted to him. Sometimes passion - even when it comes in the form of despising its object - just shows up, and reason hits the road. That's when the world falls off its axis.
Attractions are normal and often indicate directions we could take, with varying degrees of difficulty. But what makes attraction?
Scientists tell us that it's a matter of facial symmetry - the more symmetrical your face, the more you won the genetic lottery.
We're also told it's about pheromones. That's not true, as pheromones linger only a few inches off the ground, and unless you're already exploring each other, in depth, those scents probably don't reach your nose.
While those hips, that smile, that butt and that swagger are four of the infinite number of factors that propel us toward someone, they make up a fractional portion of what drives us, either recklessly or kicking and screaming, at someone else.
Two researchers published a book a while back on what makes attraction. Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Walster claim, in "Interpersonal Attraction," that attraction is "the positive or negative readiness to respond" to someone.
This means that, though we often think of attraction as an impulse toward someone, it can work in the opposite direction just as easily. This makes for spicy situations, illustrating that even repulsion can spur someone to passion. This passion could easily end up with the two of you in bed together.
How this plays out in our world is as unique as the relationships we find ourselves in.
While I was away, there was this guy named Julio. Julio was the biggest jerk I had ever met. He was convinced that Galileo was wrong and the solar system worked on a Juliocentric model.
I hated him, which naturally meant that I made it my business to sleep with him. My mentor shared with me a piece of advice: "The biggest a**hole in the room is the one we want."
I hate being wrong, and I hated that she was correct. Undeniably, though I was attracted to him. Sometimes passion - even when it comes in the form of despising its object - just shows up, and reason hits the road. That's when the world falls off its axis.
Attractions are normal and often indicate directions we could take, with varying degrees of difficulty. But what makes attraction?
Scientists tell us that it's a matter of facial symmetry - the more symmetrical your face, the more you won the genetic lottery.
We're also told it's about pheromones. That's not true, as pheromones linger only a few inches off the ground, and unless you're already exploring each other, in depth, those scents probably don't reach your nose.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
amy
posted 12/01/08 @ 6:39 PM EST
oh ... is that story true? anyway, I think it's not just you who hated him.
love your writing. I bet you actually write better than he does.
xyz
posted 12/03/08 @ 4:58 PM EST
this is so lousy. a bad name to your school
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