2008 Woodie Awards
Does size really matter?
Sex and the SUNY
Issue date: 2/22/08 Section: FUSE
Originally published: 2/21/08 at 8:43 PM EST
Last update: 7/8/08 at 12:58 PM EST
Napoleon Bonaparte ranks, with Adolph Hitler, high on the list of historical figures who were notoriously bad in bed. He may have militarily dominated Europe, but if there's a case to be made that he was overcompensating for something, why stop at Napoleon's height?
We can see that he had small hands (when they aren't hidden in his coat), but there is more concrete evidence: his preserved - and smallish - penis was auctioned off last year following the death of its most recent owner.
Napoleon might have saved himself some trouble.
I know a girl who used to work in the public relations department of a company that manufactures and sells penis pumps.
She, like most of the girls I spoke to while writing this column, agreed that size really doesn't matter - at least not as much as popular wisdom might lead one to believe. Unlike most of the girls I talked to, she'd paid off most of her student loans explaining this to male customers whose nether-regional paranoia was bordering on the, um, Napoleonic.
Her way of explaining this was Goldilocks-like: that penis size is only a problem in the most extreme cases, that everything between "too big" and "too small" is "just right," that most guys really do fall into that last category, and that, at the end of the day, couples dealing with size issues usually figure out ways to work around them. And here, she'd pitch the product.
Everyone seems to have an idea of what counts as "too small," and I have friends with bona fide horror stories.
One of my best friends' boyfriends has trouble taking the condom with him when he pulls out, and another girl I talked to once asked a guy with whom she was having sex for the first - and only - time if he would bulk himself up by fingering her while he was thrusting.
I would argue, though, that the more compelling question is how big is too big? (For the record, most estimations of average penis size fall somewhere between five and six inches erect and three to four inches flaccid, with the numbers coming out closer to six and four if the measurements are self-reported.)
We can see that he had small hands (when they aren't hidden in his coat), but there is more concrete evidence: his preserved - and smallish - penis was auctioned off last year following the death of its most recent owner.
Napoleon might have saved himself some trouble.
I know a girl who used to work in the public relations department of a company that manufactures and sells penis pumps.
She, like most of the girls I spoke to while writing this column, agreed that size really doesn't matter - at least not as much as popular wisdom might lead one to believe. Unlike most of the girls I talked to, she'd paid off most of her student loans explaining this to male customers whose nether-regional paranoia was bordering on the, um, Napoleonic.
Her way of explaining this was Goldilocks-like: that penis size is only a problem in the most extreme cases, that everything between "too big" and "too small" is "just right," that most guys really do fall into that last category, and that, at the end of the day, couples dealing with size issues usually figure out ways to work around them. And here, she'd pitch the product.
Everyone seems to have an idea of what counts as "too small," and I have friends with bona fide horror stories.
One of my best friends' boyfriends has trouble taking the condom with him when he pulls out, and another girl I talked to once asked a guy with whom she was having sex for the first - and only - time if he would bulk himself up by fingering her while he was thrusting.
I would argue, though, that the more compelling question is how big is too big? (For the record, most estimations of average penis size fall somewhere between five and six inches erect and three to four inches flaccid, with the numbers coming out closer to six and four if the measurements are self-reported.)
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 3
offended
posted 2/22/08 @ 1:58 PM EST
wow cardinal points...i dont know about this column. penis size is a big insecurity for men, regardless of how big they are. if you did a column on female insecurities there would be backlash, yet i feel not many people are going to talk about this. (Continued…)
Obama 08'
posted 2/22/08 @ 4:25 PM EST
For six thousand years, the intense scrutiny of women's worth in their physical appearance has seldom caused any eye-batting.
In contrast, only recently, infact, would an article like the above (which is obviously meant to be whimsical, Mr. (Continued…)
offended
posted 2/23/08 @ 11:18 AM EST
i meant to say that i do have a small penis and i dont need my school paper reminding me of my inadequacies. its hard enough to go to bed and get laughed at, now i need to see it all over the school. (Continued…)
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