2008 Woodie Awards
Out of Bounds, a Sports Commentary
Pause that video game, go outside and exercise
Ryan Hayner
Issue date: 10/5/07 Section: Sports
Originally published: 10/4/07 at 6:14 PM EST
Last update: 10/4/07 at 6:13 PM EST
- Page 1 of 1
It's what everybody's body dreads every few years.
The release of a new Halo game.
As Halo 3 hit the shelves last month, muscles, not counting those in fingers, prepped for day-long stretches of no use as body after body glued itself into seats to battle against aliens and other people across the globe.
Nocturnal is the norm, daylight is dangerous - anything involving outside is inessential.
The fitness center becomes a faded memory. While biceps and triceps decline, thumbs become stronger, as do jaw muscles gobbling down chips and cookies.
Other movement?
Completely unnecessary.
Except, of course, for the occasional scratching of body-parts-that-need-not-be-named.
Basketball courts lay barren, fields left forlorn.
Cue Western-movie style tumbleweed rolling through.
Okay, so maybe that is a bit exaggerated, but many college students and people in general will sacrifice moments of exercise for hours of straight, hard-core gaming.
It's a known fact playing video games can hinder grades.
The National Bureau of Economic Research found that college freshmen whose roommates have a video game system usually have lower GPAs due to lost study time.
Duh?
But another "duh" is the physical neglect due to video game binging.
Sticking a hapless opponent with a plasma grenade or running over a whole troupe with a warthog can provide some great moments, but there is some things we all forget - exercise, physical activity, and… and… sports!
In my own Halo 3-induced disappearance, even I have neglected one of the most important aspects of my life.
I traded football for frag grenades, basketballs for battle rifles, lacrosse for lasers.
Many of you out there are no different. You haven't seen the sun in days, and if a beam of light breaks its way into your room, it causes chronic squinting.
Right here, right now, I urge you to join me in breaking free from the bonds of Master Chief so we can once again reclaim our natural right of physical fitness.
Sports have missed us just as much as we have missed sports, and once we're back involved it will be clear how much better and productive it is than Halo 3.
We all remember the time Madden stole from us over the years, so use that as a lesson to apply in this situation. That basketball sitting in the corner gathering cobwebs is just begging to be dribbled. Memorial Hall and all it offers is beckoning us.
Although the pain from sitting in one position for too long may hinder movement at first, don't worry - eventually, it will subside.
This doesn't mean Halo 3 needs to be forgotten - oh no, that would be a crime.
But we need to keep our video game time and our sports time balanced.
Besides, what girl would choose a gamer over a baller?
The release of a new Halo game.
As Halo 3 hit the shelves last month, muscles, not counting those in fingers, prepped for day-long stretches of no use as body after body glued itself into seats to battle against aliens and other people across the globe.
Nocturnal is the norm, daylight is dangerous - anything involving outside is inessential.
The fitness center becomes a faded memory. While biceps and triceps decline, thumbs become stronger, as do jaw muscles gobbling down chips and cookies.
Other movement?
Completely unnecessary.
Except, of course, for the occasional scratching of body-parts-that-need-not-be-named.
Basketball courts lay barren, fields left forlorn.
Cue Western-movie style tumbleweed rolling through.
Okay, so maybe that is a bit exaggerated, but many college students and people in general will sacrifice moments of exercise for hours of straight, hard-core gaming.
It's a known fact playing video games can hinder grades.
The National Bureau of Economic Research found that college freshmen whose roommates have a video game system usually have lower GPAs due to lost study time.
Duh?
But another "duh" is the physical neglect due to video game binging.
Sticking a hapless opponent with a plasma grenade or running over a whole troupe with a warthog can provide some great moments, but there is some things we all forget - exercise, physical activity, and… and… sports!
In my own Halo 3-induced disappearance, even I have neglected one of the most important aspects of my life.
I traded football for frag grenades, basketballs for battle rifles, lacrosse for lasers.
Many of you out there are no different. You haven't seen the sun in days, and if a beam of light breaks its way into your room, it causes chronic squinting.
Right here, right now, I urge you to join me in breaking free from the bonds of Master Chief so we can once again reclaim our natural right of physical fitness.
Sports have missed us just as much as we have missed sports, and once we're back involved it will be clear how much better and productive it is than Halo 3.
We all remember the time Madden stole from us over the years, so use that as a lesson to apply in this situation. That basketball sitting in the corner gathering cobwebs is just begging to be dribbled. Memorial Hall and all it offers is beckoning us.
Although the pain from sitting in one position for too long may hinder movement at first, don't worry - eventually, it will subside.
This doesn't mean Halo 3 needs to be forgotten - oh no, that would be a crime.
But we need to keep our video game time and our sports time balanced.
Besides, what girl would choose a gamer over a baller?
Be the first to comment on this story