Cardinal Points

Issue date: 10/5/07 Section: Opinion

Drug testing is merely a means of self-promotion By Sam Hollingsworth opinions editor The way drug testing in the workplace is done today is nothing short of preposterous. How are you going to try to regulate someone's lifestyle outside of work so illogically? Obviously, big-name companies and corporations that practice drug testing have the goal of weeding out (no pun intended) drug users of all sorts and variances. Naturally, company executives don't want to have to worry about heroin heads and dust junkies running around blowing stuff up after they get hired for an impressive interview. But is this the way to control this? For a urine test, heroin is out of a human's system in just two days. Cocaine is gone in four days at the most. LSD is the jackpot though, being totally cleared out of the system in no more than 24 hours. But wait, before you go chewing up your acid tablets, get this: good ol' Mary Jane sticks around for almost a month, depending on how often it's used from day-to-day. How are you going to urine test employees hoping to better your company if you can't test for harsh drugs ingested more than a week ago? I know damn well I'd rather have red-eyed Steve Spliff working for me than Carl the coke junkie with his runny nose and bags under his eyes. Putting habitual marijuana users in the same category as a heroin, cocaine, or any other kind of elicit drug, addicts is unfair and prejudice. There are plenty of marijuana users in the country, to all different extents, that are highly successful in what they do. Not all marijuana users abuse it nor do its affects compare on a similar scale with controlled substances on people's lives. I'll admit, some stoners are just lazy and would be much better off without the bong, but others are more than capable of thriving in society. There's a reason why a gram of cocaine will land you in jail with a E-class felony while a gram of pot would get you a ticket for unlawful possession of marijuana, a misdemeanor. Pot is not even a fraction as harmful as these "real" drugs. In a world where marijuana is frowned upon by many throughout our society because of stereotypes and propaganda, those who have ever used it (there are more out there than you think) know that it is part of life's experiences and the select few who choose to make it a part of their life should honestly be able to do so. Corporations do have the right to drug test employees, but don't you think if they're going to do it, they should at least do it right? These companies want to say they have clean, quality employees so they give them these urine tests and act like they stand for something. Surprise, surprise. Your employer wants to make sure you're capable of working to your fullest potential, bringing them in the most-possible profit. And they're using the cheapest form of drug testing on the planet next to smelling someone's breath. I understand companies have a moral integrity to uphold, but if you're going to stand by something so strongly, you should probably do the testing right and not half-assed. There are some people in the job world that shouldn't be there. But it's not the weed heads. Steady, promising career consists of mature ideals By Allen Kirmss staff writer The last thing you want to hear walking into work Monday morning is, "Here, pee in this cup." It's as if your life is passing before your eyes, and I'm all for it. I don't want to sound like "that guy." The guy who's always bringing people down at parties because he's quoting statistics of people who ruin their lives by drinking and doing drugs. However, I do think there is a time when people need to put down the joint and start realizing they need to take their job seriously. How do you think bosses feel when they have to face college interns repeatedly whose eyes are bloodshot and won't stop making trips to the vending machine? Just imagine yourself as the boss for a minute, trying to find a pen. As you open your interns drawers all you can find are mini-bags of Doritos and Funyuns. Drug testing in the workplace calls for a more-productive and safe environment. I had three friends who smoked pot every day. They thought it would be a good idea to work together so they worked at a supermarket stocking shelves with each other. Harmless right? Three kids who like to have a good time being responsible and making their own money. How I wish it was. The kids were like the Three Stooges, putting cereal in the freezers and ice cream with the fruit. They even sprayed all the door knobs of the store with PAM cooking oil. These outlandish antics can be explained in two ways. First, the kids really had never been to a supermarket before and didn't get job training, or secondly, (and for some reason I feel like this makes more sense) the kids were stoned out of their minds and had no idea what was going on. Now picture that same situation at the corporate level. Your employees are showing up late and incoherent to meetings, sitting around doing nothing, causing more trouble than they're worth and in the long run, cutting your profit margin. You were hired to do work, and if drugs are interfering with how you perform and consuming your life, I think you should get used to the unemployment line. By issuing drug tests in the workplace, bosses are able to eliminate "bad eggs" that poison their workplace, as well as hiring employees they feel won't cause any problems. Why is it so hard to stay clean while holding a job? Unless your job is actually dealing drugs, there are other alternatives to getting high. You've seen all the commercials; I don't need to preach to you all the side effects of doing drugs. What I do want to preach is the need for all jobs to enforce drug testing. Whether it be cleaning toilets or being the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, doing something illegal is illegal. Obviously people who are partaking in these types of activities aren't professional enough to hold the position they have. Jobs hold a sense of maturity that entails good work ethic. If employers feel that they need to test to ensure that capability, and drug tests are a way, then they should carry out that decision. It's bad enough in the sports industry, where countless players who are tested for using drugs get caught. The same should go for the millions of others who aren't in the limelight, but run society.

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